What is the purpose of squirrels?

“I need juice.” my grandpa decided, knocking over his glass of milk to stand.

“I got it.” I wiped the milk up and handed him a bottle of Thousand Island from the refrigerator.  “Now, what are you going to do while I clean today Grandpa?”

“I want to go on a bike ride.  Why won’t you go on a bike ride with me?”

“Grandpa.  I’ll go with you, but everyone is coming into town this weekend.  Don’t you want a nice clean house for them?”

He stared at me for a solid 10 seconds, his milk mustache drying on his lip.  “No.  I want to go on a bike ride and I just don’t understand why you won’t go with me?  You ride your bike in the streets!  The streets!  That’s how you get killed.  I ride on a bike bath.”

“A bike path?”

“A bike bath.”

“Ok well we will go, maybe this weekend or next?”

“That’s fine.  But it will probably rain.  GOSH!  I have just never seen so much rain in my entire life.  I heard on that program I like to watch that it is the end of the world.” He shook his head and waited for me to respond.

I put down my sponge.  My grandpa is normally so easy to please.  He is a right-winged conservative who doesn’t like lazy people or holes in his jeans.  He is worried about the stocks and bothered by the liberals, but where does the end of the world come into play on that one?  I took a shot in the dark.  “That seems kind of silly, doesn’t it Grandpa?”

“I don’t know.  I just don’t know.”  He put his fork to his lip and tapped it a bit.  “I would guess, though it’s just a guess and so maybe I shouldn’t be saying anything, but I would guess that the more water there is, the more alive things there are.”  He stood and walked to the door that led outside.

“Are we going outside, Grandpa?” I asked.

“Who?  Oh no.  I was just thinking about that lake I have in my backyard.”  He said, gesturing to the 6 by 6 foot pond he had dug in the garden.  “I was just thinking, when I built that lake, all sorts of animals started coming.  There were a bunch of those cats that eat trash.  They were just everywhere!  I don’t know where they lived before I built the lake.”

“Maybe they wanted your goldfish?” I asked, not sure if we were talking about the end of the world or the migration patterns of raccoons at this point.

“No.  No, they wanted the water.  And there were birds.  And squirrels.  Gosh there were so many squirrels!  What is the purpose of squirrels, except maybe to eat grass?”

I began wiping his sticky finger prints off of the cupboard doors as he talked, nodding and laughing when he paused.

“The animals,” he continued, “they came for the water.  So I’m thinking, it’s probably not the end of the world.”

“You may be right, Grandpa.” I encouraged, “But you should probably finish your lunch just in case.”

He sat back down and look at his sandwich.  “I want to save…”

“…that half of your sandwich for later.  I know.” I finished for him, scooping up the leftovers and putting them in the fridge.

“How did you know that?”  My Grandpa asked.